Mutual and reciprocated joking between individuals is a clear sign of trust, friendship, and honesty.
In Comunita' Cenacolo, we are very big on "imitations." Mother Elvira had a great sense of humor and would often try to get a rise from us by joking or imitating our actions. One of the things I miss the most about living in Italy is the imitations and the laughing about one another's goofy characteristics.
In the United States, it is better known as "roasting."
ROAST: a banquet honoring a person who is subjected to humorous tongue-in-cheek ridicule by friends.
- Webster's Dictionary
Oddly enough, I have had A LOT of roasting experience,
both as "roaster" and "roastee" even for being in the community. I am observant, and I love acting. I guess I'm talented in imitating because I was ALWAYS asked to stand up and make everyone laugh with my imitations, like literally almost every night.
It was a huge learning experience for me. Serious lessons about transparency, humility, and love for myself all came from roasting and being roasted.
These rules that I outline are not approved by the Psychology Board or whatever expert, but it is what I have learned through my mistakes, and I have made a lot of 'em so I hope that counts for something!
Rules For a Proper and Friendly Roast
A roast requires that there is a bond of friendship within the group. Comments made to someone you just met are most likely judgements. As well, we cannot expect someone to accept a roast without taking offense unless they already know you and trust you. BOTH PARTIES NEED TO BE SECURE IN THE FRIENDSHIP.
This way, the roastee doesn't feel the need to defend himself for fear of rejection, and the roaster is sharing the jokes because deep down he wants to show the roastee that regardless of who they are, they are loved and appreciated.
Recent failures or mishaps, especially when they care... OFF-LIMITS.
Recent injuries and they are still in pain... OFF-LIMITS.
Topics that they don't accept or are not ready to face... OFF-LIMITS.
1. You are in charge of how you choose to react, regardless of your feelings.
Don't allow yourself to be easily insulted over petty things. Have the courage to speak up about the important things. If you are offended, ask yourself why.
2. Not every detail is worth fighting about.
3. Learn to laugh at yourself and embrace who you are.