Building A Bond of Trust With Your Puppy By Desensitizing: Saving You Both From Future Stress2/24/2021 
Why is this important? Well, for a wild fox or wolf, it really wouldn’t matter. But for our fur babies, there are many moments where their faces are being handled and in close proximity to another person's face. Think about it…
Needless to say, this is a necessary reality for our dogs today. It is not in a dog’s nature to understand the action of having their face handled. It never happens in the wild, so the natural reaction is fear or discomfort. Desensitizing your dog to having his/her face touched will save you and your dog (and the groomer and vet) from a lot of unnecessary stress.  How do you start? When you are petting your puppy, nonchalauntly hold his/her face. Only for a moment, then go back to petting. Don’t force it. If your puppy turns away then take a small step back by petting their back or neck, then slowly work your way again towards their face and reward them for it. After a few days or weeks, you'll be able to advance to holding their snout for an extended period of time, opening their mouth to look at their teeth, and running your fingers around their eyes. Let them know that this is a good thing and that they can trust you with the experience. Verbal affirmation and food are great ways to show your puppy that whatever they are experiencing is something good.
Why is this important? Many dogs “resource guard” things that are important to them: food, toys, and people. This instinct to protect what is theirs often leads to aggressive behavior when they feel their resources are being threatened. How do you start? To avoid this behavior and to build your dog’s trust in you, stay close to your dog while they are eating from their bowl. This action will extend their trust that their resources are protected in a wide variety of scenarios outside of eating from the bowl. When your pup is eating, crouch down near them and pet them, saying “good boy/girl.” They may begin to growl, but don’t be offended. It’s instinct! Take a small step back, but stay close, and give verbal affirmation. Tomorrow try again to get closer and pet your pup. This is key for when your dog is beginning to “resource guard” with other dogs or children around. It is basically teaching them that SHARING IS CARING.
 I have heard some horror stories about dogs not wanting to get their nails cut and lashing out to groomers and veterinarians. They will thank you for having desensitized your dog to having his/her paws touched! How can you start? When you are petting and cuddling your pup, or while they are napping, hold their paws. Don’t grab them harshly because it will create a negative experience. Never force anything on your puppy. Hold their paws and reward them with a treat and affirmation. Let them know that this is a normal thing in their life and there is no need to be alarmed. Start off small with just a touch or a handshake, then let go and keep petting. As he/she is comfortable you can advance to rubbing their paws, observing their nails and putting your fingers between their paw pads. The most advanced is being able to apply pressure to their nails by squeezing their “fingers,” simulating a nail trim. It will take a while for your puppy to get used to this and stop pulling away. Again, this not something they naturally know. In the wild, having your feet grabbed (bitten) is a danger from other animals, so be PATIENT and kind. As puppy parents, it is our job to prepare our puppies for the life ahead of them.
With children, our job is to give them the tools they need to live a happier life: learn to wait your turn, share, accept that no means NO, you can't have everything you want when you want it. These lessons are critical for peace and stability. SAME GOES FOR YOUR PUPPY. Remember, a well-trained and desensitized dog has |
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Mutual and reciprocated joking between individuals is a clear sign of trust, friendship, and honesty.
In Comunita' Cenacolo, we are very big on "imitations." Mother Elvira had a great sense of humor and would often try to get a rise from us by joking or imitating our actions. One of the things I miss the most about living in Italy is the imitations and the laughing about one another's goofy characteristics.
In the United States, it is better known as "roasting."
In the United States, it is better known as "roasting."
ROAST: a banquet honoring a person who is subjected to humorous tongue-in-cheek ridicule by friends.
- Webster's Dictionary
- Webster's Dictionary
| Roasting is a great way to share a moment of openness and friendship, but when done incorrectly, things will go south very quickly and cause serious damage to a person. | In the context of a roast, the difference between bullying and "a banquet of honor" for a person is LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. |
WORDS- so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them." - Nathaniel Hawthorne
Oddly enough, I have had A LOT of roasting experience,
both as "roaster" and "roastee" even for being in the community. I am observant, and I love acting. I guess I'm talented in imitating because I was ALWAYS asked to stand up and make everyone laugh with my imitations, like literally almost every night.
It was a huge learning experience for me. Serious lessons about transparency, humility, and love for myself all came from roasting and being roasted.
These rules that I outline are not approved by the Psychology Board or whatever expert, but it is what I have learned through my mistakes, and I have made a lot of 'em so I hope that counts for something!
both as "roaster" and "roastee" even for being in the community. I am observant, and I love acting. I guess I'm talented in imitating because I was ALWAYS asked to stand up and make everyone laugh with my imitations, like literally almost every night.
It was a huge learning experience for me. Serious lessons about transparency, humility, and love for myself all came from roasting and being roasted.
These rules that I outline are not approved by the Psychology Board or whatever expert, but it is what I have learned through my mistakes, and I have made a lot of 'em so I hope that counts for something!
Rules For a Proper and Friendly Roast
A roast requires that there is a bond of friendship within the group. Comments made to someone you just met are most likely judgements. As well, we cannot expect someone to accept a roast without taking offense unless they already know you and trust you. BOTH PARTIES NEED TO BE SECURE IN THE FRIENDSHIP.
This way, the roastee doesn't feel the need to defend himself for fear of rejection, and the roaster is sharing the jokes because deep down he wants to show the roastee that regardless of who they are, they are loved and appreciated.
This way, the roastee doesn't feel the need to defend himself for fear of rejection, and the roaster is sharing the jokes because deep down he wants to show the roastee that regardless of who they are, they are loved and appreciated.
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1. You are responsible to THINK before you ACT.
Run the entire scenario in your head. What is the reasonable outcome? A bit of thought and common sense will go a long way. |
It is easy to "add in" your roast if someone else already got the ball rolling. You feel more confident because of others' approval. Its cowardly and unfair to the targeted person. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.
2. Check your motives. Why are you bringing up this topic?
3. Do NOT bring up a topic unless you have already spoken to the person about it. Any topic, unless it has been confronted with the person outside the joking context beforehand, is OFF LIMITS.
Example: You find your sister's indecisiveness as annoying, you hear her say, "Ummmm" and you are already mad. Making fun of her in public while there's already jokes being passed around is a serious form of cowardice because you didn't have the courage to talk to your sister first and help her. Just something simple to get it off your chest, no need to spill out your soul!
"Hey, you really have a hard time making decisions. What's up? I always admired you for your opinions but now you can't even decide... yatta yatta yatta. Are you ok?"
After the fact would you be able to consider roasting her about her indecisiveness.
4. Ask yourself how you are doing and be honest.
The last thing you want to do is bring your personal problems unrelated to this person into the mix of your roast. It's a bad idea.
5. Live PRUDENCE.
Prudence is the ability to know when is the moment. Time and acceptance level are two really good indicators of when it is the moment to joke.
3. Do NOT bring up a topic unless you have already spoken to the person about it. Any topic, unless it has been confronted with the person outside the joking context beforehand, is OFF LIMITS.
Example: You find your sister's indecisiveness as annoying, you hear her say, "Ummmm" and you are already mad. Making fun of her in public while there's already jokes being passed around is a serious form of cowardice because you didn't have the courage to talk to your sister first and help her. Just something simple to get it off your chest, no need to spill out your soul!
"Hey, you really have a hard time making decisions. What's up? I always admired you for your opinions but now you can't even decide... yatta yatta yatta. Are you ok?"
After the fact would you be able to consider roasting her about her indecisiveness.
4. Ask yourself how you are doing and be honest.
The last thing you want to do is bring your personal problems unrelated to this person into the mix of your roast. It's a bad idea.
5. Live PRUDENCE.
Prudence is the ability to know when is the moment. Time and acceptance level are two really good indicators of when it is the moment to joke.
Recent failures or mishaps, especially when they care... OFF-LIMITS.
Recent injuries and they are still in pain... OFF-LIMITS.
Topics that they don't accept or are not ready to face... OFF-LIMITS.
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1. You are in charge of how you choose to react, regardless of your feelings.
Don't allow yourself to be easily insulted over petty things. Have the courage to speak up about the important things. If you are offended, ask yourself why. |
- Is there a serious concern that others are developing a misconception of who you are? Defend yourself out of self-respect and dignity. Most times it is best to wait a moment for emotions to cool off before confronting.
- Did they touch on a topic that I am insecure about? Do I want to work to overcome this insecurity? Do your best to remember that you are loved, you can overcome that feeling and it will get easier over time.
2. Not every detail is worth fighting about.
3. Learn to laugh at yourself and embrace who you are.
3. Learn to laugh at yourself and embrace who you are.
I don't think we make fun of one another often enough.
Frankly, I miss it when people would make fun of me, because they NOTICED.
I understand why there are rules against harassment and ethical codes for the workplace, these are good and justified.
But it seems like people have moved to the other extreme and are tip-toeing around one another, preventing relationships from developing.
We have to do our part:
1. Before everything comes LOVE for that person, work on your friendship first.
2. There is no need to be defensive when you are with your friends.
I understand why there are rules against harassment and ethical codes for the workplace, these are good and justified.
But it seems like people have moved to the other extreme and are tip-toeing around one another, preventing relationships from developing.
We have to do our part:
1. Before everything comes LOVE for that person, work on your friendship first.
2. There is no need to be defensive when you are with your friends.
Bread has had a lot of bad rap over the past 20+ years.
 Nationwide problems in... gut health sugar intake gluten intolerance weight gain celiac diabetes +________cholesterol "consequences of BREAD" |
People now try to avoid carbs whenever they can.
Keto, Paleo, South Beach, Atkins.... Grain-free, Gluten-free, Low-carb!
Keto, Paleo, South Beach, Atkins.... Grain-free, Gluten-free, Low-carb!
I totally get why bread has developed this sort of infamous track record.
 Have you ever taken a slice of bread and squeeze it tightly in your hands? It compacts into a gummy ball about the size of a dime. Think about that for a second, THAT’S NOT NORMAL! |
The bread provided on the market really is not that good for you, and most studies done on the effects of bread are pretty accurate. It does create digestive problems, it is high in sugar, and it causes weight gain.
BUT, the bread in question is not bread at all!
It is a fraud, a copycat loaf that relates to the real thing by less than 1%.
I'll rephrase, the bread that has been criticized all these years has deserved the blame,
BUT, the bread in question is not bread at all!
It is a fraud, a copycat loaf that relates to the real thing by less than 1%.
I'll rephrase, the bread that has been criticized all these years has deserved the blame,
BUT...
- REAL BREAD is nothing like the bread we have been exposed to for so long.
- REAL BREAD is good for your gut.
- REAL BREAD has enough protein to sustain us and build us.
- REAL BREAD will not cause diabetes, high blood pressure, or high cholesterol.
- REAL BREAD regulates the body’s metabolism and prevents weight gain.
So, what the heck is going on? A quick history lesson will explain.
Most of you know that mankind has been eating bread for thousands of years. Good.
Now let’s fast forward to the industrial revolution.
In the late 1800s, the main goal for industries became mass production and efficiency. Many factories spent the early 1900s perfecting the art of speed and mass distribution.
Unfortunately for the big guys, bread takes TIME to make.
The yeast feeds off the sugars and proteins in wheat, and releases CO2 which in turn makes the dough rise (I am oversimplifying for the sake of making a point). Anyway, this process of “proofing” alone requires at least 2 hours. From ingredients to a cooled loaf ready for packaging will take 6-7 hours at least. The big guys in breadmaking needed to find a solution if they wanted to crank out thousands of loaves a day.
Their solution: Add chemicals to the flour, the dough will "FLASH-RISE" and can be ready to be baked within minutes, MINUTES.
Most of you know that mankind has been eating bread for thousands of years. Good.
Now let’s fast forward to the industrial revolution.
In the late 1800s, the main goal for industries became mass production and efficiency. Many factories spent the early 1900s perfecting the art of speed and mass distribution.
Unfortunately for the big guys, bread takes TIME to make.
The yeast feeds off the sugars and proteins in wheat, and releases CO2 which in turn makes the dough rise (I am oversimplifying for the sake of making a point). Anyway, this process of “proofing” alone requires at least 2 hours. From ingredients to a cooled loaf ready for packaging will take 6-7 hours at least. The big guys in breadmaking needed to find a solution if they wanted to crank out thousands of loaves a day.
Their solution: Add chemicals to the flour, the dough will "FLASH-RISE" and can be ready to be baked within minutes, MINUTES.
The Consequences of a “Flash-Rise.”
The yeast does not have enough time to breakdown the SUGAR & PROTEIN in the wheat.
Raw gluten is extremely hard on our digestive system, forcing it to work harder than it needs to.
Eventually, the body will protect itself and begin to show signs of an allergy.
- Gluten is a wheat protein. The yeast “digests” this protein, converting it into a product that is good for us to eat.
Raw gluten is extremely hard on our digestive system, forcing it to work harder than it needs to.
Eventually, the body will protect itself and begin to show signs of an allergy.
Yeast breaks down the sugars in wheat. The carbohydrates are also converted into sugars once it breaks down in the body. If the yeast cannot breakdown those sugars in the dough, the bread will contain an EXCESS OF SUGARS that will multiply once consumed in our bodies.
I am providing a layman's explanation of breadmaking, for an in-depth understanding of the science behind bread its chemical reactions, follow the link below:
I am providing a layman's explanation of breadmaking, for an in-depth understanding of the science behind bread its chemical reactions, follow the link below:
There have been other outside factors that have been the reason for the fraudulent loaf.
This is why bread has been tagged as the culprit for so many health problems.
- Farmers that grow genetically modified wheat grains. They, too, wanted to mass produce their product. Farmers are also at the mercy of unpredictable weather, which makes consistent farm growing difficult, and they needed a product that would perform consistently and strongly.
- The GM wheat grows faster and larger but lacks the protein content it should have.
- Naturally grown wheat will contain between 18-12 grams of protein per serving (1 cup, or 125 grams).
- GM wheat flour can have up to 5 grams of protein.
- White flour is stripped of most nutrients and protein, containing hardly 0.5 grams.
This is why bread has been tagged as the culprit for so many health problems.
Now that you know the truth, what next?
It's not always easy to find, but TRADITIONALLY MADE BREAD is definitely the best thing for you. Ask the bakeries you frequent what their baking process is. What flour do they use? Are there any pre-made mixes? How long do they let the dough rise? What yeast do they use?
Making your own bread at home takes practice but it is well worth the effort!
I encourage everyone to prioritize a good, REAL loaf of bread in the household. I promise that you will not regret it, and you will be able to feel a real difference in your health, energy levels, and overall well-being.
I encourage everyone to prioritize a good, REAL loaf of bread in the household. I promise that you will not regret it, and you will be able to feel a real difference in your health, energy levels, and overall well-being.
"Wow, you lived in Italy?! That's so cool!"
I get this response from just about everyone when they hear the news. I can see in their eyes that they imagine fancy meals, gourmet gelato, handsome individuals with breathtaking accents, and beautiful landscapes.
It makes me laugh because if we turn it the other way around, when Europeans think of America, they imagine New York City, big coffee mugs, and PEANUT BUTTER (it's apparently an "odd" product that you will almost never find in Italian grocery stores).
Can you believe that the entire concept of the United States of America🟥⬜🟦has been reduced to one city, large portions, and peanuts?! We don't know what we don't know, especially when it comes to different cultures.
Moving to Italy was not part of my life-plan. I actually never had any desire to go visit.
I thought that the language was odd and I was unimpressed with American-Italian restaurants. Overall, a trip to Italy was low on the bucket list. (Like I said, we don't know what we don't know).
My decision to pack up and leave the country was actually not my decision at all. My parents had given me an ultimatum after I graduated high school. Before I get into that, let's backtrack for a minute so you can understand the whole story.
I get this response from just about everyone when they hear the news. I can see in their eyes that they imagine fancy meals, gourmet gelato, handsome individuals with breathtaking accents, and beautiful landscapes.
It makes me laugh because if we turn it the other way around, when Europeans think of America, they imagine New York City, big coffee mugs, and PEANUT BUTTER (it's apparently an "odd" product that you will almost never find in Italian grocery stores).
Can you believe that the entire concept of the United States of America🟥⬜🟦has been reduced to one city, large portions, and peanuts?! We don't know what we don't know, especially when it comes to different cultures.
Moving to Italy was not part of my life-plan. I actually never had any desire to go visit.
I thought that the language was odd and I was unimpressed with American-Italian restaurants. Overall, a trip to Italy was low on the bucket list. (Like I said, we don't know what we don't know).
My decision to pack up and leave the country was actually not my decision at all. My parents had given me an ultimatum after I graduated high school. Before I get into that, let's backtrack for a minute so you can understand the whole story.
As a child, I was outgoing, loud, and opinionated. Somewhere in those years I developed this deep need to feel accepted. Maybe my precociousness was a bit much to handle and I was trying to make myself more likeable. Regardless, I grew up with a disconnect between what others saw in me and what I was feeling about myself.
Like most teenagers, I was full of insecurities and confused about life. Unlike most teenagers, I soon found myself tangled in a web of lies, trapped with an eating disorder and alcohol addiction. I won't go into many details because its not really necessary. Everyone knows someone who has struggled/still struggles with addiction and its painful for all parties involved.
Deep down I must have wanted help but I had no idea how to ask for it. I'm not sure I was ready to let go of my web which I thought was holding me together.
My dad, knowing me very well, knew that the cycle had to be stopped or I would soon die. This is where the ultimatum comes in: "We are not letting you go to college, and you cannot live in our house anymore."
Like most teenagers, I was full of insecurities and confused about life. Unlike most teenagers, I soon found myself tangled in a web of lies, trapped with an eating disorder and alcohol addiction. I won't go into many details because its not really necessary. Everyone knows someone who has struggled/still struggles with addiction and its painful for all parties involved.
Deep down I must have wanted help but I had no idea how to ask for it. I'm not sure I was ready to let go of my web which I thought was holding me together.
My dad, knowing me very well, knew that the cycle had to be stopped or I would soon die. This is where the ultimatum comes in: "We are not letting you go to college, and you cannot live in our house anymore."
There's an Italian community named Comunita' Cenacolo. The community welcomes men and women who are seeking freedom/healing from addictions. The foundress, Mother Elvira, felt strongly to help the youth in the world who lost their sense of purpose, who were sad and angry, those who never understood the real meaning and beauty of life. Now, Comunita' Cenacolo is all over the world and it continues to grow.
There are so many beautiful things that can be said about Comunita' Cenacolo, but for the 17 year old me, I could have cared less. I wanted to go to college and make a lot of money. However, the reality of my situation was clear: I was broke, I did not want to be homeless, and I didn't really have any options.
Kicking and screaming (on the inside, of course) I packed my things and left home.
Now, let's be clear, I was angry at my parents; I felt abandoned, a failure, a disappointment and more. BUT TODAY I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT MY PARENTS HAD THE COURAGE TO DO WHAT THEY DID. It saved my life.
There's an Italian community named Comunita' Cenacolo. The community welcomes men and women who are seeking freedom/healing from addictions. The foundress, Mother Elvira, felt strongly to help the youth in the world who lost their sense of purpose, who were sad and angry, those who never understood the real meaning and beauty of life. Now, Comunita' Cenacolo is all over the world and it continues to grow.
There are so many beautiful things that can be said about Comunita' Cenacolo, but for the 17 year old me, I could have cared less. I wanted to go to college and make a lot of money. However, the reality of my situation was clear: I was broke, I did not want to be homeless, and I didn't really have any options.
Kicking and screaming (on the inside, of course) I packed my things and left home.
Now, let's be clear, I was angry at my parents; I felt abandoned, a failure, a disappointment and more. BUT TODAY I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT MY PARENTS HAD THE COURAGE TO DO WHAT THEY DID. It saved my life.
That's how I ended up in Italy. "So cool!" Right? 😉
The actual cool thing is: when we fail in life and we are at our lowest, there is always FORGIVENESS. Whether you believe in God or not, forgiveness exists. The cool thing about forgiveness is that it not only brings us back to the same state we were in before we screwed up. True forgiveness, and God, lift us up even higher than where we were before. My life has been just that.
From my sins and hardships have come some of the best experiences in my life and the best friendships I could ever have. Most importantly, I learned to love myself,
LOVE MY (wild and imperfect) LIFE, and be happy.
I can't wait to share more with you!
The actual cool thing is: when we fail in life and we are at our lowest, there is always FORGIVENESS. Whether you believe in God or not, forgiveness exists. The cool thing about forgiveness is that it not only brings us back to the same state we were in before we screwed up. True forgiveness, and God, lift us up even higher than where we were before. My life has been just that.
From my sins and hardships have come some of the best experiences in my life and the best friendships I could ever have. Most importantly, I learned to love myself,
LOVE MY (wild and imperfect) LIFE, and be happy.
I can't wait to share more with you!
About Me
Hey there! My name is Marisa Elias. When I was 17 I left my home in Georgia and moved to Italy. Not the Italy that you're imagining, though.
This wasn't your typical vacation site. I was up in the French Alps, surrounded by corn fields, living "off the grid" in a community of young adults from all over the world! I didn't have a plan, but I ended up staying for 6 years! Today I am 27 and enjoying the journey of life. Life has been an adventure since then, and I am not stopping now!
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